


Numb

by JeromeClarke107



Category: American Vandal (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Depressed Peter, Depression, Fluff, Loving Dylan, M/M, Prompt: Losing the ability to feel, gross fluffiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-29 23:06:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17817266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeromeClarke107/pseuds/JeromeClarke107
Summary: The numb days are his worst days.





	Numb

**Author's Note:**

> This work was written for the prompt "Losing the ability to feel" from an abstract prompt list by Shockvvaves on Tumblr.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at love13RW!!!

The numb days are his worst days. The days when he just can’t feel anything, when his mind goes blank and his heart is only beating in the most literal sense of the word. The days where he doesn’t want to get out of bed, but he doesn’t want to sleep all day either. The days where nothing, not even Dylan’s arms around him, can warm him. 

Peter Maldonado hates the numb days. He hates the numb days almost as much as he loves the good ones. 

If he didn’t have Dylan, he thinks as he lays beside him on the bed, Dylan’s chest rising and falling slowly as he breathes, that maybe if he didn’t have Dylan there wouldn’t be any good days. If he didn’t have Dylan, maybe he’d be numb all the time. 

Because Dylan Maxwell makes him feel anything and everything all at once. He makes him feel elated, ecstatic, engaged, and completely and indescribably in love. 

Dylan wraps himself around Peter, twisting the sheets as he presses against his back and holds Peter like losing him would break his heart. Dylan doesn’t even know the half of it. 

Losing Dylan would be like losing himself, like losing the only piece of himself that he likes. 

“You ok?” Dylan whispers in the middle of the night. Sometimes Peter wonders how he knows, how he can spend five minutes with Peter and immediately determine if his day had been a good or bad one. He always asks if Peter’s ok, though, even when he already knows the answer. He always gives Peter the chance to lie when the truth is too painful to speak. 

“I guess so,” Peter whispers. Dylan’s breath is warm on his neck, but Peter’s heart is cold. Dylan’s the reason he hates the numb days so much; losing the ability to feel anything, to feel _Dylan_ is the worst punishment imaginable. 

Dylan holds him tighter. Peter rolls over to face him. 

Dylan pulls Peter against his chest, and Peter’s face buries in his neck. He’s shed so many tears here, been in so much distress that even Dylan’s comforting arms did nothing to ease his anguish. 

But now, with Dylan’s hands tracing his spine underneath his blue hoodie, with his lips pressing gentle kisses to Peter’s temple, he feels numb in a completely different way. 

He feels numb with affection, complete with his other half beside him, finally able to let his mind drift and his thoughts stop racing. He feels numb with _Dylan_ , drowning in his love and clinging to him like a life preserver all at the same time. 

With Dylan Maxwell, even the numb days are worth it.


End file.
